A Day at the Columbarium

[03:00 - Rancho Coronado]

Lightning struck with a loud crash, leaving a burning glass crater around a dead tree now set ablaze, and kicking up clouds of dust among an endless sandscape sea. The entire dead earth trembled with a deafening roar as wildfires crept over the horizon with a furious vexation, consuming anything and everything in their path. There was no escaping this, it was too late. Flesh burned, ashes flew up like scraps of paper; the pain was unbearable. Finally all was dark, and there was silence, save for piercing screams; a young woman and a child, crying in pain. They were pleading, praying to be saved, and then they were altogether gone, vanished forever...

Pops' eyes shot open as he awoke in a cold sweat, gasping for air. His heart was racing, and every instinct told him to jump out of bed, or out of his skin altogether. His mind raced with a thousand thoughts all at once, not a single one staying for more than a split second. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he recognized where he was, and his breathing began to calm, his heart-rate finally slowing. He was in bed, Liv curled up against him and snoring soundly. His body loosened up, but a single tear ran down his cheek, and he sniffled lightly, trying to make as little noise as possible. He carefully pulled away from Liv's embrace as she rolled over, still asleep. He sat up in the bed, swinging his legs over to plant his feet on the floor as he leaned forward, his head hung low. He couldn't fight what was welling up inside him.

He reached over and grabbed his revolver and softpack off the bedside table as he pushed up to his feet. He turned to leave the room, quietly, as he grabbed a shawl draped over a rocking chair in the corner and threw it over his shoulder. He stopped at the door, looking back to Liv in the bed as a warm but solemn smile crept on his face.

As he exited into the hallway, the wooden floor creaked beneath his feet, and he tried to step carefully. He made his way, slowly, and deliberately, to the front of the house as he wrapped the shawl around himself before opening the door. A cool breeze swept in as Pops stepped onto the front porch and quietly closed the door behind him. He sat down in a chair and placed the revolver next to him on a small table. He pulled the shawl closed around his bare chest as he placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. Taking a deep drag, his bottom lip began to tremble, and his eyes clouded over. Fighting to hold back the tears, he exhaled through his nostrils as he looked up. Out here, the pollution was thin enough that you could almost make out the stars. Pops found none, his eyes turning back to the ground as he took another drag.

He felt the streams down his cheeks as he watched tears fall and collect on the ground. All by himself in this moment, he closed his eyes and let the tears flow free. It was still dark outside, but today was the day. It had been a full eight years; the worst day of his life since coming to Night City. He would never not blame himself for what happened. It didn't matter what Miz, Billy, or anyone else said. He would always carry some guilt for not being strong enough, fast enough. His one reprieve is that at least he was able to lay Mei to rest... he didn't even get that much with Tallulah and Lily.

His eyes still closed, his mind began to swarm, the sound of blazing fires ringing in his ears. Screams and cries of anguish all around him. It was closing in, choking him. He could feel his entire body recoiling as he tried to escape it all; it was no use. His pain consumed him, teasing and tormenting him, until all was suddenly quiet. Everything was dark. There wasn't peace, but there was... comfort, maybe?

Pops' eyes opened to feel a gentle hand squeezing his shoulder. He looked up and saw Liv standing in front of him, sadness in her eyes, but with a kind smile. He tried to smile back. Instead, he fell forward into her as she cradled his head in her arms and stroked his hair gently. He sobbed quietly as his arms wrapped around her, clutching the fabric of her flannel shirt for dear life.

--

[09:00 - Japantown]

There was no music, no radio, no sound of any kind playing through the apartment today. In its place was a deafening silence. Miz hadn't moved from the couch for over an hour. Her eyes were locked on the Badlands Dam picture on the coffee table as she sat there, knees together, shoulders sagged. Her coffee was ice cold by now, and her morning cigarette had smoldered itself into nothing in the ashtray. Seeing her like this was enough to break anyone's heart.

Billy knew what today was, and had already resolved to leaving Miz alone. He had left early enough for the gym that she hadn't yet woken up. As he walked into the apartment, still drenched in sweat, he saw her sitting on the couch. They had been doing really well on their own since talking to Vik, but he didn't want to push his luck. He expected today would be an off day. Still, he wanted Miz to know he was there.

After a few seconds of careful contemplation, he dropped his bag and walked over. He took his seat on the couch next to Miz, carefully. He reached up, testing the waters to see if she pulled away. Inch by inch, his arm worked its way around her until he was gently rubbing her shoulder and holding her close. She didn't even appear to recognize he was there, and he wasn't surprised in the least. At least she wasn't pulling away from him. She was just... blank... fixated. From where he was sitting, she was in her own mind, and he knew there was likely nothing he could do to pull her out of it.

He stood up and turned to walk toward the shower before he felt a pull on his hand. Miz had him by two fingers as she looked up tenderly at him and said, "...the fuck you think you're going...?"

There she was; he couldn't help but smile as he sat back down, placing his arm around her again as she leaned into him this time. He placed a soft kiss against the side of her head as she melted into him. Her cheeks were still wet from the tears, and he could feel a light tremble in her body. After a while, she spoke again, "...ask you a favor?"

He answered without thinking for a second, "Of course... anything."

Miz pulled away from him as she sat up to look him in the eye. Through quivering lips and tears welling up inside, she said, "I-I want you there... with me... with us."

Billy didn't know why, but in this moment, his heart lit up and he had to fight a smile as he asked, "A-are you sure? Pops won't mind?"

A light smile broke on Miz's face as she grabbed Billy's hands and brought them to her face as she reassured him, "You're my family now. She'd want to meet you."

Billy pulled his hands back before embracing Miz tightly as he closed his eyes and said, "Of course I'll come with you."

Miz gave in, gripping Billy tightly as she cried into his chest. Her fingers dug in as she held him tighter and tighter.

It killed Billy to see Miz like this, as he wanted nothing more than to never see her hurt ever again. But this... this was progress.

--

[12:00 - North Oak]

The skies were clouded over, the sun trying to break through with no success. The air was warm, but the clouds had afforded the city a brief reprieve from the heat. Billy and Miz walked arm in arm, but with none of the usual spring in their step. She was leaning into him, almost barely able to force herself to keep going were it not for him holding her up. Per usual, he was on the street-facing side of the path. After nearly a year, Miz was still caught off-guard from time to time at just how much of a gentleman Billy could be. He'd been so good to her, and what did he have to show for it? No! Stop that!

Miz admonished herself; they were both trying, and that's what mattered most. Her train of thought was broken by a light nudge from Billy's elbow, and she looked up. To her surprise, Pops and Liv were standing together outside the Columbarium, leaning against a railing and having a smoke. If not for the heavy air of the day, Miz could have laughed at the two of them both asking their respective "Barrett" to tag along. Liv gave a smile as she nudged Pops in a similar manner. His eyes lit up at seeing Miz and Billy walking together to meet them.

Miz let go of Billy as she reached up and hugged Pops tightly; Billy did the same with Liv. Before long, they swapped, each giving tight hugs and warm greetings. At the end of it, Pops and Miz looked at each other with a smirk before Liv cut in with her patented drawl, "I told him you'd probably drag Billy along, too."

They wanted to laugh, but it didn't feel right. Instead they just stood there awkwardly. Pops and Miz normally did this by themselves, and no words were really said. Billy and Liv could feel the tension, but they certainly weren't going to break the silence.

After what felt like an eternity, Pops said to Miz, "Ya ready, Em?"

Miz nodded sternly, almost bravely, and they turned to walk into the Columbarium, Liv and Billy following closely behind.

Night City wasn't particularly known for its respect or reverence for human life, but neither did it completely disregard its dead. The North Oak Columbarium served as a public memorial for all the lives the city had claimed over the years. There were thousands upon thousands of individual niches in which cremated remains were stored. The plaques on each were inscribed with images or some words indicating a connection the deceased had left behind, or some impact they'd had during their time.

It was a massive sprawling complex of stone and steel; yet another ego-driven edifice of Night City's greatness as much as a memorial to the deceased. Somebody somewhere in Night City looked at the Columbarium and got a hard-on thinking of the great work they accomplished; never once did they think of the grieving and mourning that took place within its walls. Its emotional impact was stunted by the fact that it sat in the shadows of the obnoxious and gaudy "North Oak" sign. Disgusting, really.

The structure was comprised of two major parts. There was a large covered central area holding the most important urns; city officials, corpo executives, celebrities, or simply anyone with enough scratch to afford it. It was surrounded on all sides by an even larger open area. The open area was dotted and lined with hundreds of individual columns, creating a grid of pathways. This is where your everyday average citizens would find themselves "interred". The walkways and paths between the columns were always crowded. People came and went regularly, paying respects and mourning those that were lost.

There was an uneasy calm in this place; it was quiet, and yet felt as though it could erupt in the combined cries of hundreds at any moment. Miz never liked coming here; it felt cold to her. It felt separated and distant. The one comfort is she always knew where her mother would be. That would never change; on the downside, if she ever left Night City, she'd be forced to leave her mother behind. Breaking into a niche carried a felony sentence of three years in prison and a hefty fine.

Miz stopped on a dime, Pops taking his place behind her, as they turned with almost regimented precision. After eight years, they knew the way. Miz dropped to her knees, tears forming as she leaned against the column, placing her forehead against the niche. Her right hand curled into a fist, and she brought it over her heart, specifically over the tattoo covering her heart. Billy had pieced it together a long time ago, the Japanese symbols for "Ma-Ma", and in hearing Miz talk about her mother. But now, in this place, the full impact hit him and his heart nearly broke for the both of them.

The world around Miz disappeared as she sank into a lonesome darkness inside her own mind. Her ears were assaulted by a persistent ringing laced with the sounds of dripping water. She could feel the unfinished floor, the gravel digging into her skin. She could feel the binds on her hands chafing. Her entire body trembled as the screams returned, distant and faint, but clear as day. There was nothing here but fear. Fear and the pain of remembering.

Pops stood steadfast behind Miz, a gentle hand on her shoulder trying to comfort her. She was silently mouthing words as she choked on her sobs. Billy took his chance and walked over to join them, leaving Liv in shock at the brass of his actions. He looked at Pops before his eyes hit the ground, and he dropped to his knees beside Miz, placing his arm around her. He could feel her whole body shaking, but she wasn't trying to pull away. She was allowing herself to feel every bit of it. She was suffering, but she didn't shy away from it. After a few seconds, he leaned in, placing his head both against Miz's and the niche as he closed his eyes and silently prayed to whoever was out there.

The sobs subsided, and Miz sniffed up sharply as a light smile crept on her face. Eyes still closed, she whispered to Billy, "Mama would have liked you."

Billy felt the warmth of the moment as Pops' free hand grabbed his shoulder and squeezed in affirmation. Still standing several feet away, Liv couldn't help but smile and fight back her own tears at all of it. Finally, Miz leaned back, her eyes opening as she turned first to Billy, and then back to Pops. It was his turn.

Billy helped Miz to her feet as they moved out of the way, allowing Pops to step forward. Before he took a knee, he looked over to Liv with a smile and held out his hand. Liv almost took a step back, lightly shaking her head before Pops closed his eyes and nodded. She hesitantly stepped forward, slowly at first. It didn't feel right. When she was close enough, Pops held her hand and guided her to him, and they both took a knee in front of the column. Her hand still in his, fingers intertwined, he brought both his hands together in front of him as he bowed his head and closed his eyes. His brow furrowed in concentration for several seconds as Liv stared in awe.

Pops wasn't known for being a "religious" man, but there was a spirituality about him. Growing up on the reservation, he was exposed to his fair share of indigenous spiritual practices and old-world Catholicism, and for better or worse, they left a mark on him. Liv finally found her peace and leaned against Pops' shoulder as she looked at the niche and smiled. For a brief moment, she could almost see Mei smiling back at her; she could almost hear the pain in Pops' voice in confessing his current situation to Mei, even though no words were said out loud. Beside it all, there was an unspoken air of happiness and celebration as a smile crept on Pops' face and his eyes opened. He looked over to Liv as she looked up in his eyes, and he placed a gentle kiss against her forehead before they both stood up.

Miz was happy to see Pops happy, and to see some relief in his eyes. She felt a light tug as Billy pulled her by the hand and said, "My turn."

He turned to walk, and she turned to follow. A few rows up and several columns over, Billy stopped, directing Miz to another niche, inscribed with a distant yet familiar name;

William Matthew Barrett
2037 - 2062

Miz's eyes widened as she looked at Billy. He smiled lightly, tears forming, as he placed his hand against the niche and said, "Heya, Dad. I want you to meet someone."

Miz wrapped herself around him and held on tight, feeling his arm close around her. She could hear his heart racing, and she smiled as she nuzzled closer to the sound. They were joined several seconds later by Pops and Liv, hand in hand. Liv smiled to Billy before she looked at the niche with a distant longing. Pops excused himself, sliding past Billy as he knelt down and placed his hand on the niche for several seconds. He looked at the ground and considered his words before he looked up at the sky and said, "I'm watchin' over 'em for you. You have my word."

As Pops had for him, Billy rested his hand on Pops' shoulder and squeezed gently. In this moment, there was not a dry eye among them. Everyone had tears of both sadness and joy; sadness in remembering what they had lost, but joy in celebrating what they had found. Pops felt a comfort wash over him as he stood up. He smiled at Billy and Miz before turning to Liv. They all turned, deciding in unison it was time to go. Pops walked hand in hand with Liv, while Billy followed a few feet behind, his arm around Miz. She leaned in and whispered, "So... you're a junior?"

Billy smirked as he answered, "Yeah, he was William Matthew, I'm William John."

Miz nuzzled closer to him as she said, "It's a strong name, but I think I'll stick to Tiger."

Billy chuckled as he placed a kiss on Miz's head and said, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

As they exited the Columbarium, the clouds began to clear and the sun smiled on them, it's warmth kissing their skin.

--

[14:00 - Rancho Coronado]

The skies had fully cleared, the sun beating down on the city. The only respite was the shade given by the overhang of the front porch. Pops and Miz sat next to each other on a swinging bench out front of the house, having a smoke and talking the afternoon away. Trying to sell the house had proved more of a hassle than they expected, so Pops and Liv had both agreed to make this their shared home as best they could for the time being. They would have both preferred to make their new memories together in a place without so much prior history, but Night City had a way of getting in the way of one's dreams.

An awkward silence had crept up between Miz and Pops for a little too long. She looked over to him, catching a distressed look on his face. She leaned forward, reaching out to him as she said, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Pops looked down as he exhaled smoke through his nostrils. He swallowed a knot in his throat before speaking, "I ever tell you 'bout my life before comin' to Night City?"

Miz shook her head, "I... uh, a little? I-it never really came up, and I always figured you wanted to leave it behind."

Pops smirked as he said, "I wanted to. So bad did I want to. The day I met your mom was the start of a new life for me."

Miz smiled briefly, but she could see a pain in Pops' face. He was going somewhere dark, opening a wound he didn't want to, but had to. He continued, "Back in Arizona, I had a wife and child... we were young, happy, and in love. Life was good. Her father never approved of us, and I never paid him much heed, even if he was our tribe chieftain."

Miz smirked. Pops the rebel, that sounded just about right. Pops kept going after a short pause, "We'd only been together a few months when our reservation joined the Snake Nation. A year in, her father was kicked out and replaced with a representative from the Clan Council. He never forgave them. In time, he came to blame us all the same for his downfall, like we had anythin' to do with it. Around that same time, Tallulah told 'im she was pregnant with my child, a daughter... that sent 'im completely over the edge."

Miz interjected, "What was his issue with either of you?"

Pops snorted a laugh as he answered, "Me, simple prejudice. No other reason than the fact that my father was white. His issue with Tallulah was as simple as her choice to date a half-breed. He took it as a personal insult to the values of their ancestors."

Miz shook her head in disbelief as she asked, "So what happened?"

Pops looked down and swallowed again, a single tear running down his cheek as he answered, "Rafe lost his mind, made a deal with a rival tribe to let 'em desecrate our land. He'd scare 'em off and come out lookin' like a hero, show the Council what he was made of. Instead, they set fire to our homes. I was... I-I got distracted by s-some explosions in the north, w-went to check it out... B-by the time I r-realized what had h-happened..."

Pops' entire body contracted in pain as he began to choke on his own words. He leaned forward and brought his hands up, almost hiding his face in shame as the tears flowed down his cheeks. In an instant, Miz was right next to him, trying to comfort him in any way possible. He leaned back, his hand covering his eyes. His lips were trembling as he fought back the sobs and tried to regain his composure. Miz sat up and faced him, wrapping him up tight as she tried to cradle his head and comfort him. She could feel his grip as he cried against her shoulder and said, "I-I'm scared, Em. Twice I've t-tried to have a f-family, and t-twice I've f-failed. I-I can't fail a third time. Not with you, n-not with Liv and Billy."

Miz let go of Pops before grabbing his face with both hands as she stared in his eyes. It was time to get firm. She gripped his face as she said sternly, "Do not ever blame yourself for what happened to Mama and me. That was not your fault. No more than Tallulah or..."

Pops's eyes came into focus and he met Miz's stare as he said with a gentle kindness, "...Lily."

Miz continued, "What happened to Tallulah and Lily wasn't your fault. What happened to Mama and me wasn't your fault. You saved my life and made me the woman I am today. You made our crew what it is, and you've held us together for four years. You gave Billy the strength and the courage to pull himself out of Tooley's mess. You've helped guide him to where he is toda—"

"You ought to know better than any of us not to argue with her, old man", Billy cut Miz off as he stood in the door way, arms crossed with a smirk on his face. Miz and Pops both cut to Billy, finding Liv standing right next him, a warm smile on her face. Pops lit up and he tried to wipe the tears from his face.

Billy walked over, grabbing a chair and setting it down in front of Pops as he sat down. It didn't take him long to find the right words as he said, "Tell ya the same thing we told you before the H10 job. We're all here because we choose to be. We choose to be here because of your strength and character. You can't blame yourself for things you had no part in. You can't blame yourself for not being there."

Pops looked down at the ground, not fully convinced, as Billy continued, "Look, am I talking to a good man or a bad man?"

Pops shook his head and said, defeated, "I-I don't know."

By now, Liv was standing by his side, a hand on his shoulder as Billy chided him with a smile, "Only a good man would give that answer."

Pops knew when he was outgunned. If he had to be, this wasn't a bad place to concede. He reached out, placing a heavy hand on Billy's hands as he nodded and sniffed hard. Liv picked up for Billy as she knelt down and wrapped her arms around Pops' neck and said, "All of us are here because we love you, Phoenix. There's no way aroun' that, Cowboy, so get used to it."

Pops smiled as Liv pulled his face to hers and kissed him. They all embraced one another together. It was a trying day, but this unlikely family had found the strength to pull through and find a brighter side to it all. In Night City, that wasn't nothing. It was worth more than gold.

--