Guilt

Vik's orders to Billy were explicit: rest and recuperate, and try like hell to get past all of this. It wasn't going to be easy, but he knew Billy had it in him. He was a good kid with an honest heart, and that probably is why he put himself at the head of this current predicament. Try as anyone might, they couldn't convince him that Diego's suicide wasn't his fault. He tore himself apart over it. He was responsible for killing Dominic. He was responsible for Diego witnessing his father's death. Had Billy witnessed his own father's death, how would he have felt towards the man responsible? If only he had been quicker, cleaner, and more precise about it, could he have gotten the job done quicker? These and a thousand other thoughts ate at him like a cancer. He hadn't spoken a word in several days...

--

The smell of food hung heavy in the air as Miz strained the contents of a boiling pot over the small kitchen sink. When she was satisfied with the results, she placed the pot on the adjacent counter and dumped the strainer's contents back in. Her mouth watered from the smell and the steam rising as she pulled two small bowls over, spooning a sizable helping into each bowl. She set her bowl down on the counter next to the pot as she left the kitchen and walked towards Billy sitting on the couch. He'd been there all morning, staring blankly at nothing, saying nothing. He had a cigarette smoldering between two fingers, nearly burning the skin, but he didn't even seem to register the pain. Miz took a seat on the edge of the coffee table and set the bowl down next to her. She reach for Billy's hands as she said softly, "Hey, I made you some noodles... ya hungry?"

Billy didn't pull away, but neither did he register that Miz was even there. He just brought the burning butt up to his lips before realizing there was nothing left of it. He shook his head as a few tears fell and dropped the butt in the ashtray as he stood up from the couch, bypassing Miz completely as he walked over to the open window of their apartment.

Miz clenched her jaw as she fought her own tears, wondering if this was what it felt like for him when she was deep in the trenches of her own mind. She thought for a moment before she stood up and approached him carefully from behind, leaving the steaming bowl on the table. She wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head against his back as she closed her eyes and listened to his heart. It was pacing rapidly, his breathing uneven. He was fighting something deep inside him, and she didn't know how to pull him out of it, but GOD did she want to. She just wanted her Tiger back, more than anything in the world.

Pops and Liv both had stopped by the day before to check in. They sat in silence for two hours as they watched Billy stare at nothing from the couch, the same as he'd done the day before, and the day before that. Liv eventually stepped away to help Miz with laundry and other housekeeping as Pops watched over Billy. He didn't expect anything would change, but he knew even unconsciously, the pup would appreciate having someone there.

He was despondent, but not destitute. He still had the wherewithal to shower and look after himself, but everything was done under the pall of what he was fighting, what he had done. Miz had caught him crying to himself over the past few nights, begging forgiveness for a crime he didn't commit.

Finally, he gave some reaction that he knew Miz was even there as he placed his hands over hers, intertwining their fingers. She took her chance and said, "What do you need, babe? Tell me what I can do..."

Billy spoke for the first time in three days with a cold indifference as he said, "I don't know what the fuck everyone wants from me..."

Miz's eyes shot open wide as she pulled away from Billy. She pulled him to turn and face her as she said, "We want you back, Billy! We want to help you! I want you to let me in, like I did for you..."

Billy gave a half smile as he held her hands and said, "Miz... I watched a twelve year old kid throw himself out of a window after he watched me kill his father in front of him. I looked him in the eyes before it happened. I saw the pain, the anger, the confusion. And I caused all of it. How do you atone for something like that?"

Miz looked down for a second before locking eyes with Billy as she gripped his hands tighter and tried to reassure him, "That was NOT your fault, Billy. You don't know what his father did to him to twist him up like that. There's no telling what damage was already done before you or Pops ever stepped foot in the building. You didn't create whatever the fuck this was. You weren't responsible for them dealing in drugged underage girls. You can't blame yourself for that, any more than I can blame myself or Pops for what happened to Mei."

Billy looked down as he tried to clear his throat, choking between his words and tears. It wasn't black and white. Nothing in Night City was ever black and white. It was always a gray area; the question is how deep into the gray was still considered morally acceptable. Miz could see the conflict in him, and she tried again to comfort him, "Billy... even Padre says you did nothing wrong. Paid the job in full. Not by much, but he's the holiest of any of us."

Billy finally answered, bluntly, "It's all just excuses, Miz. None of it fuckin' matters... everything in this city is fucked, no matter what we do..."

Miz's face hardened as her eyes narrowed, and she pulled her hands away. She turned and marched off to the other end of the apartment (all twenty-five feet away). Billy's jaw clenched as he watched her return, unholstered Unity in her hand. She ejected the magazine and cleared the chamber, locking the slide back as she caught the single ejected round mid-air with a cold and calloused precision. She tossed the magazine on the kitchen table with blatant disregard as she took her spot in front of him again. She held the single round up in front of his face to make a statement before she dropped it in the open chamber. She released the slide before shoving the iron into Billy's chest as she said with disdain in her voice, "You really think this is all your fault, that you're the one to blame for all the shit this city heaps on us, then here's your answer! Take this gun and do what I never had the courage to do for seven years..."

Billy's eyes went wide as Miz welled up with tears and her voice trembled as she stared at the floor, her hands curling into fists, "Every morning, I woke up wanting to eat the end of that gun to put myself out of my own and everyone else's fuckin' misery, and I hated myself because I never had the balls to do it..."

He felt himself shrinking down as Miz looked up in his eyes, tears rolling down her face as she continued, "The morning after our first job together was the first time I felt like everything would be okay. You were the first person that made me feel like maybe there was something worth living for in this fucked up city... and I would give everything to... I w-want you back Billy, I-I nee—"

Billy cut her off as he dropped the gun to the floor and wrapped himself around her, holding on for dear life as she cried into his chest. She brought her hands up and clung onto the fabric of his shirt before wrapping herself around him. They stayed like this for several minutes, slowly rocking back and forth in each other's arms.

Finally, Miz pulled away as she looked up in Billy's eyes once more and said, "You're the only good thing to ever come out of this city, and I will not let it destroy you like it does everything else."

Billy sniffled hard as he brought his hand up to Miz's cheek. She closed her eyes and nuzzled into it with a light smile, bringing her hand up over his. He brought her up and gave a gentle kiss on the forehead before he whispered softly, "Thank you..."

"I love you, Billy...", she answered him before giving a playful punch to his gut, "Now eat some god-damn food."

His lips were still pressed against her forehead as he laughed for the first time in a long time and said, "It... it smells fuckin' amazing, I'll give you that."

They laughed together and held each other for a little while longer. It was progress, but just like with Miz, they knew it would take time to make the world right, or as right as one could make things in Night City... the important thing is they would get there on their own terms, together.

--

[Later the same day]

Miz leaned against the window sill, listening to the sounds of the markets pouring in as she enjoyed a smoke. The sun was beginning to set, not that they could ever watch it. Their apartment was one of probably several hundred units in a tenement building jammed in between the high-rise towers of the Japantown markets, surrounded on all sides by steel and reinforced concrete reaching up as far as the eye could see. There was a sliver of sky visible between the columns and rows of buildings, and the setting sun created a strangely beautiful albeit polluted twilight descending into the undercity.

She exhaled smoked as she dwelled on the day's happenings. There was still concern in the back of her mind, but a brief smile crept on her face; she was happy that she could do something to help Billy. It was a hard awakening for both of them, confessing that she contemplated ending her own life everyday for seven years, but they held no secrets from each other at this point. And for as amazing and supportive as Billy had been to her in their time together, it was the least she could do. They were two rocks leaning on each other for support, growing together and growing closer every day.

Miz's smile broke wide as tears formed, and she reached her hand out the window. There were neon pink "petals" falling from the holographic cherry blossom trees dotting the markets, and Miz admired them in awe as they passed through her hand. She took it as a good omen, a sign of promise and hope.

With oddly fortuitous timing, a holocall pinged in Miz's head, followed by Pops' voice, "Heya kiddo..."

Miz closed her eyes with a sense of comfort as a single tear fell and she answered, "Heya Pops."

He asked the pertient question on everyone's mind, "How's our boy doin'?"

Miz tried to contain her joy as she said, "Better... I think I got through to him earlier today."

There was an honest surprise in Pops' voice, "Really? How'd you manage that?"

Miz held a chuckle as she answered bluntly, "I uh... I shoved my Unity in his hand with a single round and told him if he was really sure that everything in this fucked up city was his fault, he could do the one thing I never had the courage to... the one thing he gave me a reason not to do..."

A loud whistle sounded from Pops' end as he said, "Yeah... could probably use some wordsmithin'. How'd he take it?"

Miz laughed at Pops' choice of words and answered, "Finally got him to talk... and eat."

"All's well that ends well, I s'pose", Pops said in his usual reassuring tone, "Where's he now? Wanted to check in with 'im."

Miz turned and looked at the empty apartment as she said, "He went for a walk... fresh air and to clear his head."

Pops again was surprised, "And you didn't go with?"

"I think he wanted to be alone for a bit", Miz answered, picking up on Pops' real question as she continued, "We're okay, Pops. He's been through worse with me, so it's only fair that I get the chance to pick him up every once in a while."

Pops chuckled as he said, "He loves you, you know that, right?"

Emotions swelled in Miz's chest as she said with a sharp sigh of relief, "I do, and I love him... more and more every day. And I love you Pops."

She could almost see Pops smiling wide and his mustache flaring as he said, "I love you too, kiddo... I'll check in tomorrow."

The call dropped, and Miz closed her eyes and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Try as it might, she was not going to let Night City take away the things, or the people, that she cared about. She had fought too damn hard to crawl out of the shit and get to a good place in life. She took another drag as her eyes narrowed and she thought to herself, This city may have made me who I am, but it will not unmake me.

--

[The Glen, Heywood]

The remaining twilight in the sky was waning, giving way to streetlamps and flashing neon signs as steam and stink rose from somewhere deep within. The sidewalks were lined with trash and waste of all kinds. Municipal services clearly weren't coming through very often, and for obvious reasons; every building lining this particular street and the surrounding blocks were covered from roof to foundation in Valentinos' graffiti and painted murals. There were 'tinos goons standing on every corner, and Billy had already received a few sideways glances as he made his way deeper. He paid them no heed, trying his best to keep his head down and out of anyone's way, but for a 6-foot tall white kid from Rancho, he stood out like a sore thumb.

His eyes shot up as he found his mark; a twelve-story tenement building. There were two gangers standing by the front double doors, eyes darting left and right. Billy stopped short a few paces, deciding to take his time finishing his cigarette before walking inside. Not that anyone cared about smoking indoors, but he wanted to collect his thoughts before doing what he came here to do, what he felt he had to do.

The gangers looked his way, their eyes locking onto him as they watched him carefully. He took a chance and gave a casual wave, to which they both nodded with blank expressions before turning in the other direction. He looked out of place, but they didn't really seem to care, as long as he didn't start trouble. He couldn't fault them for that, not one bit. The Valentinos, for all their faults, were a tight-knit community. They looked after their own, the bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood thicker than actual blood-relations. One really had to admire their strength and tenacity in numbers. Most of the other gangs in Night City were fragmented from the top down, rife with their own internal struggles; but not the 'tinos. Their bonds were deeply rooted in their Latin-American culture and heritage, and they were proud of it. Not even the Tyger Claws could boast such a claim.

Billy snapped himself back into focus; it was now or never. With one last long drag, he tossed his butt into an alleyway and exhaled smoked through his nostrils as he entered the double doors. As before, the gangers' eyes followed him before averting their gaze elsewhere. The lobby of the building was not too far removed from what Billy and Pops had both seen at Santiago's building. There was trash and filth everywhere, but at least the walls weren't falling apart. A few young children were circled around a vending machine, throwing some dice and laughing among themselves. There were other older men and women lounging on the few couches and chairs dotting the space, conversing with each other or watching the TVs. Just regular people living regular lives, these four walls somehow shielding them from the ever-present horrors of living in Night City.

Billy kept his head down and moved through the lobby, finding a stairwell at the rear. A building this old and dilapidated likely had no elevators, and even if it did, you were taking your life in your own hands if you stepped in one. Billy took a deep breath as he began his ascent. It was ten floors up, and try as he might to deny it, his smoking habit had taken a dig at his stamina. At least he wasn't breaking a sweat, but he could feel himself getting slightly winded at five floors up. He considered pausing, but like standing in the ring with El Hechizador, he knew all too well if he stopped now, he would probably lose his nerve and find a reason to give up. No, you have to do this.

Billy pressed on, breathing in hard through his mouth and out his nostrils as he paced himself. Finally, he reached the tenth floor, noted by worn faux-wood numbering nailed into the walls. He allowed himself a moment to catch his breath as he looked back down the stairwell. There was no way he could back down now, but his heart was racing. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, releasing each one slower than the last. Finally, he felt his heartrate slowing, and his body calming and easing up. His eyes opened, and he pulled the door and entered the hallway. It was dimly lit, fluorescent bulbs struggling long past their usable life. The hallway was lined with entryways to the small and rundown apartments, some with doors open, others shut tight. People were conversing to one another across the hall or otherwise minding their own business, but a small grace for Billy was none of them seemed interested in him as he made his way through.

He stopped and turned, having reached his destination; apartment 1019. He stood still for several seconds, again collecting himself as he took another round of deep breaths and slow exhales. He raised his hand curled into a fist, but paused. Once he was calm, he gave three succinct knocks against the metal door before taking a step back. He could hear the clamor of young girls' voices from behind the door as an older female voice spoke sternly in Spanish to them. The voices receded and Billy could hear footsteps approaching as he swallowed the knot in his throat. The door slid open partially, and Billy was met with a familiar face from several days prior. Her face was flushed and red, her eyes bloodshot from tears. Her hair was disheveled, a tangled mess, and it looked as though she probably hadn't showered or bathed since the last time Billy saw her standing in the street, crying for her son as she held her daughters for dear life. But through it all, there was a gentile kindness in her face. Billy could feel the emotions welling up inside him, his lip quivering. It took the woman several seconds to recognize him, but her face contorted from sadness into anger as the realization set in, and she pushed the door fully open to stand squarely in front of him.

Billy considered his words carefully for several seconds before he said softly and sincerely, "Lo s-siento... p-por Diego..." (I'm sorry... about Diego...)

He bowed his head forward in shame, but his eyes stayed locked on the woman. He could see more tears forming in her eyes as she clenched her jaw. He didn't know what to expect, but the last thing he wanted was to cause her more pai—

SMACK

Billy stood strong and took it in stride, but he winced from the impact of the woman's hand against his face. He could feel his cheek burning and reddening. After a second, he raised his head and locked eyes with the woman again. She was crying through gritted teeth, trying to mask her sobs, likely for the sake of her daughters. They more than anyone needed someone strong to lean on, now more than ever.

Billy stood awkwardly, tears building in his own eyes as he watched the woman's face revert from anger back to inconsolable pain. He made a bold move, holding his arms out and open towards the woman. To his surprise, she fell into him, sobbing openly as she struck her open palms against his chest before her arms tired and fell to her sides. Billy carefully closed his arms around her. They stood like this for half a minute before he felt the woman pulling away. Her crying had subsided, but she was still pulling herself together and choking on her tears. Her voice trembled as she said softly, "G-gracias...", and she bowed her head to Billy. He nodded to her before she retreated backwards into the apartment and the door slid shut.

Billy gave a sharp sigh of relief. He felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He looked down for a minute before a light smile crept on his face, and he turned back down the hallway. He gently rubbed his cheek, feeling the bruise setting as he stretched his jaw. He laughed to himself, Woman packs a mean punch.

It reminded him of being a shitty teenager and getting into it with his mom. As caring as Liv was, she wasn't afraid to raise a hand when Billy stepped out of line. She raised him better than that, or did her best at the very least. And he wasn't necessarily easy to be around. Hormones of a teenage boy aside, he carried a lot of anger in that time. He missed his dad, and he resented that his mom was forced to run herself ragged over a bar night after night just to keep him fed. He didn't resent her, not in the least; she was a saint. His hatred was directed at Night City Dam and the city itself for tearing his family apart. He smiled again as he remembered he had a new family now, and he'd do whatever it took to protect them.

Speaking of, it wasn't a terrible idea to check in with them. Billy pinged a holocall as he walked gingerly back down the stairs. He had time now to take it slow. After only a single ring, he was met with the smoothest and loveliest voice on God's green Earth, "Heya honey..."

He smiled yet again, "Hey mom, I wanted to check in."

Always knowing just what to say, she fired back, "Well it's 'bout damn time! Ya had me an' Pops worried sick."

Billy laughed as he said, "...sorry..."

Still the mother, her tone changed and she asked, "How ya doin', baby? Ya know, Pops called Em earlier, was lookin' in on ya."

For the first time in almost a week, Billy felt confident in saying, "I'll be okay. I just had to get some air, decided to take a walk."

He could almost see her mouthing the word "bullshit" before she said after several seconds, "You went and saw that boy's mother, didn't ya?"

Billy scoffed, genuinely caught off guard as he asked, "H-how could you pos—"

"A mother knows her son", Liv cut him off, "And I know you, Billy. I know you and your big puppy heart inside and out."

He felt more emotions rising, as if he'd not felt enough already, as Liv continued, "You did the right thing... how'd she take it?"

He laughed again, "She uh, smacked me across the face, then thanked me."

Liv took a jab with a chuckle, "Well... serves ya right."

"...thanks, Mom", he replied bluntly.

Her chuckle broke into a laugh, and after several seconds she said, "I'm glad to see you pullin' through it. I heard Miz knocked you back in line too... in her own way."

Billy didn't have an answer for that, but Liv was right. She followed up, "Look honey, I'll let ya go. Get home safe, and give that girl a kiss for lookin' after my boy."

He smiled and said, "I will... I love you, Mom. Thanks for... just thanks."

Liv signed off with, "I love you, Billy", and the call dropped.

As Billy reached the bottom of the stairwell, his foot planted on the ground floor and he took a deep breath with a smile as he walked out of the tenement building. Back on the street, he lit a fresh cigarette before turning to walk back towards the nearest NCART station, back the way he came. Once again, he kept his head down, trying to stay out of anyone's way. He'd only made it three blocks down when he felt a presence following closely behind him. He turned his head slightly to the right, catching sight of a spindly ganger trying his damndest not to look directly at Billy. He wasn't there a block ago and Billy figured he probably stepped out from one of the alleys. Another block down, the sidewalks had cleared, leaving Billy and his new best friend walking ten feet from each other in the same direction. He stopped as two more gangers, one male and one female, both armed, stepped out from an alley ahead of him, blocking his path. The rear ganger stopped, positioning himself directly behind Billy, but a few feet away. The male ganger in front had a DR-5 Nova tucked in the blet of his pants, but all three of them had knives at the ready. They wanted to keep this clean and quiet. The female ganger spoke first in a heavy accent, "You're in the wrong neighborhood, choom. Now empty your pockets."

Billy had made the executive decision to leave his iron at home. Going to see a grieving woman with a revolver strapped to your chest sent a bad message. Still, he was confident in his ability to handle himself. His right arm articulated and prepared itself, small arcs of electricity shooting off from it (a recent upgrade from Vik). The gangers didn't back off, holding their knives out as they continued to taunt him. He took a stance, narrowing his eyes and readying his hands, before a gruff older voice called out from the shadows, "Oye! El cachorro is off limits."

Billy's ears perked, and his head whipped around to find the source of the familiar voice as none other than El Hechizador approached, cool, calm and collected. The other 3 gangers' eyes opened wide and they started to tremble at the sight of Padre's right hand. He stood for a moment, looking each of them in the eyes as he pointed with a baseball bat in his hand and said, "You gonks are better than that. Now get the fuck out of here."

The gangers resisted him at first, their eyes darting back and forth between Billy and El Hechi, until the latter raised the bat above his head and stepped towards them. They scattered like roaches back into the alley, and were gone.

El Hechi stepped up to Billy, looking down at him with a smirk as the latter said, "Padre..."

He answered, "Old man said what you were coming here to do, told me to keep an eye out."

Billy blushed and smiled. It was good to have... "friends"... the smirk left El Hechi's face as he rested the bat against his shoulder and said, "Vámonos, sígueme." (Come on, follow me.)

--

[El Coyote Cojo, the Glen]

El Hechi walked in through both sets of sliding double doors like he owned the place, Billy only a pace behind. The bar was still cleaner than anywhere he'd ever been, the floors actually swept clean, and the tables actually wiped down. Whoever ran this place kept a close eye on it. It was impressive. El Hechi signaled to Pepe, still manning the bar, still working doubles, still barely scraping by. The man nodded, pulling out a fresh bottle of tequila and a two rocks glasses and placing them on the counter top. As they approached, Billy looked to his right, noting a familiar face. Misty was sitting at a table against the wall, smiling and conversing over drinks with an older Latina woman with greying hair and a kind smile. Her face was also familiar to Billy, but he couldn't place it. Misty looked over, meeting Billy's eyes as she smiled and waved casually; he reciprocated. The older woman turned to him and gave a casual nod before returning to their discussion.

El Hechi wasted no time in getting to work, pouring two shots as he handed one over. Billy tried to politely decline, but El Hechi just looked at him with a skeptical eyebrow. He resigned with a smirk and accepted the shot, nodding to his host before knocking it back. It burned more than usual this time as it warmed his throat and stomach. El Hechi didn't hesitate, pouring another round. Billy gracefully accepted, but took his time with this one, sipping carefully. El Hechi knocked his second round back, and a third, before he took a seat and spoke, "Man, you've seen some shit over the past few days, haven't you, kid?"

Billy nodded with no words, and El Hechi continued, "It's not easy, kids getting mixed up in what we do... but take it from me, you did the right thing coming down here to look Diego's mom in the eyes and offer your condolences."

For some reason, Billy wasn't feeling a whole lot of comfort at the moment as he said, "Maybe I'll find the good in it someday..."

El Hechi's face went cold as he sipped on a fourth round and said, "This isn't a clean living, choom. What we do, living on the ragged edges of the city... there's no such thing as blanco o negro out here... ya know?"

Billy leaned against the bar as he turned to El Hechi and said, "I get it, Hech. This city's one big murky pile of shitty gray area, but there had to have been something I could have done differently."

A kind smile crept on El Hechi's face before he said, "Geraldo... my chooms call me Geraldo..."

Billy smiled briefly and nodded as El Hechi continued, "You didn't get a chance to properly meet the man, but Dominic Santiago was rotten to his core. He took niñas, innocent little girls who should be playing with dolls, and got them all fucked up on Lace and turning tricks for ennies until they were old enough to put out on the corners in broad daylight. He took innocent young boys and perverted their minds against everything we stood for. He was creating an army of child soldiers, fancied himself a revolutionary..."

Billy chuckled as he lit a fresh smoke and took a drag, "If you're trying to convince me that I did the right thing, it doesn't change the fact that his son watched me do it."

El Hechi knocked back the rest of his fourth round, placing the glass on the bar with a heavy hand as he said, "I know this won't help, but if you look at it from the outside, the fact that the kid killed himself after watching his old man die, and in the same way, it paints a picture of the kind of damage Dominic had already done to him... maybe death was his release?"

Billy thought for a second before her knocked back the rest of his second round and said, "Nah, not helping. Sorry."

El Hechi chuckled and poured another round each as Billy continued, "I've seen some dark shit in what we do, but this is the first time it's ever gotten to me like this. How do you stomach it, man?"

After a deep sigh with a shrug and raised eyebrows, El Hechi answered, "I remember who and why I'm doing it for. Por mis hermanos y hermanas. And I pray... I pray that God will look favorably on me for doing what I believe I was put on this Earth to do."

Billy's eyebrows furrowed in curiosity and he asked, "What do you believe you were put here to do?"

Without missing a beat, El Hechi again answered as he met Billy's eyes with an honest stare, "To protect the ones I love... and to give them a chance at a better life than I had."

Billy smiled in admiration as he said, "And you believe that's what you're doing?"

El Hechi smiled back and said, "I have to. It's the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning, choom. C'mon, knock this back, I wanna show you somethin'."

They both took their shots before leaving the bar. El Hechi guided Billy up a short flight of steps to an isolated area towards the back of the bar. There was a small shrine, dotted with portraits and lit candles. It wasn't new, but it was meticulously maintained. In the middle of it was a worn copy of Ernest Hemingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls next to a bottle of Centzon Totochtin. Billy squinted his eyes as he looked at the largest of the framed pictures; it was a headshot of a strong man with a chiseled jaw, and black hair pulled back in a top knot. Billy noted the man's face resembled the older woman that Misty was talking to when they arrived. El Hechi bowed his head for a moment, Billy following suit, before he turned and said, "You know who this is?"

Billy wasn't about to bullshit the man, and he shook his head. El Hechi continued, "This was the realest motherfucker ever to come out of Heywood. His name was Jackie Welles. Smart kid, hell of a boxer, a true choom. And that woman you saw talking to his girl, that's Mamá Welles."

Billy's eyes widened as he flashed back to the huge Valentinos jacket hanging in the Afterlife and he said, "So this was V's partner..."

"One and the same", El Hechi affirmed, "V was the hermanita Jackie never had, and he looked after her like one of his own. He told me more than once he'd die to protect her, and that's exactly what he did. And I'll go to my grave believing he had no regrets doing it."

Billy smiled as he looked at the picture again. After a few seconds, he felt El Hechi's heavy hand against his shoulder and he turned as the older man said, "Maybe this doesn't help you now, but the best advice I can give you is to find your purpose. Find whatever is in your heart that you're supposed to do, and don't let a damn thing stand in your way."

Billy's mind immediately flashed to his mom, then to Pops and Miz, and he nodded with a firmed face, his cheeks feeling the heat of the tequila. El Hechi was right, it didn't do much to help in the short term, but it gave Billy something to focus on, a goal to work towards, and he appreciated it all the same as he said, "Thanks... Geraldo."

El Hechi nodded and said, "Now, let's get you back home before your girl wonders what the fuck happened to you, yeah?"

Billy laughed and nodded in agreement, and they made their way back through the bar to the doors as El Hechi gave a wave to both Pepe and Mamá Welles.

--

El Hechi escorted Billy to the nearest NCART station, where they shared a brotherly embrace and parted ways for the time being. Three shots of Centzon Gold in less than 15 minutes left Billy with a nice little buzz as he rode the Metro back to Japantown. Thankfully nobody tried to mess with him. All in all, the return trip was remarkably pleasant. He had a lot to think about from everything he and El Hechi had discussed, but he felt good about whatever came over the horizon.

[Japantown Markets]

By this point the night had set in, and the skies above the neon cityscape were pitch black. Billy probably hadn't meant to stay out this long, but he could only hope Miz didn't give him too much shit before he could explain his end of it. He waved his hand and the door to their apartment slid open. He semi-stumbled his way in, the tequila having caught up with him full force. With not much grace, he called out, "Hey Em! I'm home!"

The sink in the bathroom stopped, and Miz walked out, the look on her face a mix of concern and agitation. On one hand, she was happy to see him home safe and sound. On the other hand, where the fuck had he been for the last four hours? Billy saw the writing on the wall from the look on her face, and he put his hands up as he lightly swayed and said, "I-I can explain."

Miz smirked and crossed her arms. Frustrated as she was, Billy was kind of a charming gonk when he was tipsy, and she wanted to see how well he handled himself. She only said, eyebrow raised, "You've been drinking..."

Billy smirked and fired back, "Wasn't my idea..."

Miz followed up, "Where'd you go?"

He took a deep sigh as he walked over to the couch and sat down, Miz walking over to stand in front of him, her arms still crossed. He started, "As soon as I left here, I called V and put in a word for Padre to call me."

Miz's arms dropped, and her eyes were now locked on Billy as he continued, "I-I just... I couldn't forgive myself until I stood face-to-face with Diego's mom and at least offered my condolences for what happened..."

Miz's demeanor softened and she took a seat on the edge of the coffee table as she asked, "H-how'd she take it...?"

Billy snorted with a smirk as he turned his head to the side, the light reflecting off the angles of his cheekbone and jaw, highlighting the tenderized bruise. Miz tried to contain a gasp as she reached for his face and leaned closer. Billy kept going, "On the way back, I was stopped by 3 'tinos wanting to... mug me, I guess? Geraldo... El Hechizador... stepped in and sent them off. Guess Padre told him to shadow me, make sure I got in and out safe..."

Miz was looking hard at Billy's cheek as she said, "Ke-e-e-ep going, gonkbrain..."

Billy laughed as he said, "Geraldo took me to the Coyote, and we talked for a bit, he showed me Jackie Welle's memorial in the back... d-did ya know Jackie's mom owns the joint?"

"Hey, stay focused", Miz chided him, not letting him off the hook, "You still get to explain why you've been drinking without me... because now I got to play catch-up..."

Billy's eyes cut to Miz as she stood up and pushed him back into the couch with a finger against his forehead. She wore a cheeky smile and said firmly, "Stay."

She walked into the kitchen, the sound of a metal cap scraping against a glass bottle before clattering on the counter top. She walked back in, taking a heavy chug from the bottle before she held it up to Billy's mouth. He glady accepted, taking at least two more shots of his own before she placed the bottle on the coffee table and climbed on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she arched into him and looked in his eyes, her face threading flashing hot pink as she said softly between breaths, "I've missed you, Tiger..."

She embraced him and nibbled at his ear before whispering, "And I'm so proud of you for facing this head on..."

Billy pulled back to look in her eyes as he nipped teasingly at her lips with his own and said, "I... I couldn't have done it without you, Em..."

Miz's eyes clouded over and she smiled as she pulled off her tanktop, baring her breasts as she pulled Billy's arms up and behind his head. He buried his face in between them and breathed in deeply, his voice muffled as he said, "Yeah... this is nice and familiar..."

Miz tried to stifle her laughter as Billy forced his arms forward and wrapped them around before pulling her close and kissing her deeply. They wasted no time in ripping each other's clothes off, their moans trailing out the window as they made up for lost time.

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